Breaking out of “Analysis Paralysis”

Yesterday I had a first session with a client. One of the things that came up was the reluctance to start a new habit for fear that they wouldn’t continue. As a coach, you aren’t supposed to really share your own experiences because it’s not about you. But I had to use everything in me not to be like OH MY GOD I FEEL YOU. 

I’m curious of the type of people that this happens to. I sense it comes from being an analytical type, where thinking is your main form of being. I don’t like to use the word “overthinking” because we are just who we are and whose to say if we are over or under anything? There is obviously a need to find comfort in examining things from every angle and so that is where our behavior goes.

I sense there is also a piece of us that doesn’t trust ourselves. Maybe we know we are fickle, or feel lazy sometimes. Maybe we know we are distractable and find excitement and stimulation from newness. Once the newness of an endeavor wears off, we know we get bored. We aren’t getting that dopamine hit anymore when we partake in that activity.

It’s a real conundrum. On the one hand we yearn for change and we yearn for new habits. On the other we think “what’s the point? I’m not going to stick with it so why bother at all?” This puts us in a pickle, a state of being that I like to call “analysis paralysis.” I learned that term when I was taking my Permaculture Design Certification course. The instructor was talking about designing your space based on permaculture principles, and sometimes you might have too many options. The open ended possibilities lead you to never being able to make a decision. 

I think the fear of doing something wrong or making the wrong choice is the other piece of this. Many of us are so focused on “getting it right” that we never try something new at all.

But what if that doesn’t matter? What if we could separate ourselves from the outcome? What if it’s actually none of our business, as odd as that may sound?

I think it comes down to trusting ourselves but in a way that if we don’t continue with the habit, it doesn’t mean we are a “bad” person or we’ve failed. It doesn’t mean we are terrible. It doesn’t mean we can’t stick to something. Maybe it just means it’s not the right time. Or it’s not the habit for us. Or there is a blocker or an obstacle in the way. Maybe it has nothing to do with us at all. 

As far as “doing something wrong,” if I had a dollar for every time I messed up, I’d be rich. So would every other person in this entire world. You are in a very welcoming and open club. We are all just here bumbling around learning, growing, connecting and trying things. 

So you pick up some free weights and you do it once and then you don’t do it again that week. But you know what? You did it once!! You did it. YOU did it. You tried something new and you felt the burn of the lifting and the soreness after. I bet that felt good. I bet you felt pretty accomplished after you did it. I bet those neurons were firing and a flood of good chemicals entered your blood stream and changed you, for the better. Even that one time. So if you only do it once, then congratulations! You did something many other people haven’t done yet and you found that motivation inside you to do it once. That’s huge. I can’t stress enough how huge that is. 

We often forget that life is a series of small decisions, every day, all the time. Every decision you make matters, and every time you decide to try something new, you open the realm of possibilities for yourself. Maybe you decide you hated lifting those weights, but you decide doing some pushups is more for you. Or maybe you decide playing the piano isn’t your gig, but you end up incorporating more music into your life. Maybe you try eggplant and you hate it. But instead you think, lemme try zucchini. Every new step creates a million more options for you to grow and evolve and learn. It’s kind of a miracle.

And then, when you do find something you can stick to, that’s another brand of magic all its own. But I’ll save that magic trick for my next post!