The Tip ‘o the Tongue

I learned a great little trick in this class I took right after I graduated my coaching program. The class was called Clarity Catalyst, and it was taught by a woman named Jennifer Grace. I had an amazing experience in this class. She took us through 8 weeks of mindset tools and reflection, to help us get clear on our coaching careers and what we wanted to offer as coaches. 

Among some amazing tools, which I share with clients as appropriate, one very simple tip I learned from her was this: if you want to work on relaxing your jaw, take your tongue and place it on the back of your two front teeth. I’ll wait–are you trying it? That simple action unclenches our jaw and brings some slack to it. 

What I love about this tool is it’s not just a command “relax your jaw.” There is a concrete physical thing you must do to bring it about. I find that easier to remember to do for some reason when I am in the midst of a stressful activity or feeling some anxiety and know that I need to relax. It’s like an exercise, and it begins to become second nature the more you do it. 

I do it now in everyday life when I need it, but I also do it every morning when I meditate. I always begin my meditation with a full body relaxation/noticing scan. It begins at the top of the head and ends at the toes. This sets you up for a much more relaxed meditation and really helps you feel your body in space. Also, the more you do it and learn how to notice place awareness on your different body parts, the more you get in tune with your body and notice when things feel off.

The head and face relaxation are also super useful also as I go through my day in general. Just noticing that your eyes muscles are engaged and relaxing them and noticing and relaxing your cheeks can be enough to possibly stave off a tension headache in the moment, or bring you back to sereneness. 

The tongue on the teeth one though sometimes feels like a monumental task. This morning as I was doing my scan before meditation, I felt this extreme resistance to unclenching my jaw. It felt like I was holding on for dear life. It took a few seconds, but I was able to let it go slack, with the tongue on the teeth trick. And what came to my mind is those videos of little kids who might be standing on the edge of say a curb, or some tiny drop off, and they are clinging to something for fear of falling off it. Wailing and screaming and clutching their safety spot. You hear a mom gently in the background – it’s okay! You’re going to be okay - it’s just a step down! Finally - finally - the child looks and realizes the situation, and calmly steps off. And everything is fine. 

That’s how it feels sometimes to even just let you jaw relax. It feels like this huge leap, to let go of this tension, this control that we keep over ourselves. The idea of releasing feels like a monumental, scary thing, so we clutch on to this tension, this control. It’s like if we let go, we imagine all the shi!t will come flooding in or out or all around, and we might get lost and swept away. 

And maybe we will! Metaphorically, that is. Maybe if we relax, the tears would flow. Maybe if we unclench, we’ll let some thoughts in that we have been pushing aside. Or maybe we will feel better than we have in years. The idea of just letting go is just so foreign to many of us. And many of us equate it with “letting ourselves go.” God forbid we slack. Slack jaw, slack-er, amiright?

I use the face and jaw relaxation tool throughout the day now. The more I use it, the more I remember to use it. And I still am amazed how often I find my teeth pushed together. I tend to have my front teeth clenched together, rather than my back teeth. I’ll notice this pressure right at the front of my mouth and then I breath, and I pop the tongue on the back of those front teeth, and I feel immediate relief. But it’s also disorienting sometimes. It’s like, where is that pressure, that tension? If it’s gone, now what?

Now, you just be.

It’s amazing how something so small can bring about such a physical and mental change. As soon as you relax that jaw, your mind goes with it. It thinks, what the heck have I been holding on to? Indeed. What have we been holding on to?

Let me know if the comments if you have tried or try this tongue-teeth technique, and what you think of it!